Evil that must be destroyed

One of the many things ante-natal classes and parenting manuals won’t tell you is that some toys don’t have an off switch.

Which means they can’t tell you that they are also the toys with the loudest, the longest, the catchiest and most teeth grindingly really-fucking-annoying sounds. Or that they are the ones you are most likely to step on and accidentally activate mere seconds after you’ve just managed to get baby to sleep.

I have a sneaking suspicion these toys also follow you around the house to ensure they are always immediately behind you wherever you happen to tread.

You might want to disown any friends or family who mistakenly bring you such an offending item. Alternatively they make great gifts for other parents whose lives you’d like to make just that little bit more uncomfortable.


2 thoughts on “Evil that must be destroyed”

    1. Because of course once baby has the toy you’re done for as there’s no taking it away. The quiet ones get given up, the horrible ones they cling to like limpets. That must have been quite a journey

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